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Despite her #1 opening in Russia, Jessica Simpson won’t be given the chance to go for box office gold in the U.S.

According to reports, Simpson’s latest filck, Major Movie Star, is being renamed for its U.S. release (to Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous) AND going straight to DVD!

Joe Simpson has yet to comment about this disastrous turn of events.

We don’t think y’all would mind if Russia wanted to keep her there, right?

P.S. Goldie Hawn is NOT happy about the rename!