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Asshole Fuckface is not just a label. The term can also be used as a verb, such as, 揑 am going to do some serious Asshole Fuckfacing today. Since the term became common in the 12th century, many people have used it over the intervening years. Before invading Poland, Hitler is thought to have said, 揑抦 going to Asshole Fuckface the shit out of Poland.Ted Bundy used to say he would put on his 揂sshole Fuckface mask and go out Asshole Fuckfacing.Today, I search out those who enjoy Asshole Fuckfacing and I drag them into the light for you to mock and throw soiled items at. This week was particularly shocking, so climb into your favorite plastic box, carve a couple of eyeholes and enjoy the Asshole Fuckface Roundup.

First we go to Chicago, where an Asshole Fuckface teacher opened her pie hole.

An unnamed Chicago teacher was teaching her sixth grade class about the history Mesopotamia, when she decided to explain terrorism. Apparently, in her Asshole Fuckface mind, the best way to do so was to use the only Muslim Arab student in the class as an example.

Mohammad talks about the day his little brother came home from school saying his teacher had singled him out in front of his class as an example of a terrorist.

“She used the example of if Saleh were to go on to an airplane, put his backpack down and put two wires together and the plane were to blow up - and she didn’t make a point,” said Christina Abraham, Council on American-Islamic Relations.

Good work.

“Everybody started teasing him and calling him a terrorist after the comments were made by the teacher,” Mohammad said.

Shocking. Who could have guessed that would happen The family wants the teacher to be fired, but the school district has just transferred her to another school, hopefully to one with out any horrible 13-year-old terrorists.

Next up, it抯 September, so that means Asshole Fuckface Republicans are getting down to business.

Yes, fall is almost upon us. That means the leaves turn yellow and Republicans attempt to remove black people from the voter rolls. In Indiana, they are using voter ID laws, which require voters to show their ID when they vote, to keep all the scary black people from voting.

Republicans claim they are just stopping voter fraud. Of course, there are almost zero incidents of people voting when they aren抰 eligible 枛 I mean, besides Ann Coulter.

More than two thirds of Indiana adults have no passports and nearly 15 percent have no driver’s licenses. These eligible voters, disproportionately African-American, will need to take a bus or catch a ride from a friend down to the motor vehicles bureau to make sure they obtain a nondriver photo ID. Otherwise, they cannot vote in Indiana this year.

In Wisconsin, Republican Asshole Fuckfaces are taking it a step further.

Republicans officials there are suing to enforce a “no match, no vote” provision in state regulations, where voters must not only show a photo ID, but establish that it matches the name and number in the Department of Motor Vehicles or Social Security Administration database.

The lists are 搑iddled with errors.Remember, disenfranchising voters is more important than non-existent individual voter fraud.

Oh, and the Florida 揺rrorthat kicked thousands off voter rolls in 2000 is still going strong.

Even after the Help America Vote Act (HAVA) and worldwide attention, the Florida software is still flawed. It requires only an 80 percent match to the name of a convicted felon. “So if there’s a murderous John Peterson, the software disenfranchises everyone named John Peters,” Andrew Hacker writes in a recent New York Review of Books.

I don’t know how this could go wrong.

Next up, a prosecutorial Asshole Fuckfacery.

Natalie Walters occasionally takes her father to the Boise VA Medical Center. When she is there, she fills up her own mug with soda and usually pays $1 or $1.50. But a couple of weeks ago, the cashier told her she owed $3.80.

“I told her that cannot be right and asked to talk to the manager,” Walters said.

The manager told Walters the price is correct.

So, Walters said she didn抰 want to pay for it and therefore, didn抰 want the soda. This is when the story gets awesome. The manager told her the soda was already in the cup, so she would have to pay for it. Walters said, 搉o. Then she became angry and poured the soda on the counter.

Okay, not cool. But sometimes people lose their heads and shit happens. Usually a stern talking to is in order, followed by an apology, right Fuck no. She fucked with the Boise VA hospital cafeteria. She抯 got to pay.

The Bush administration’s top attorney in Idaho is bringing charges against a North Idaho woman for refusing to pay for a Diet Coke and then pouring it out on a counter at a cafeteria at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Boise.

Natalie Walters, now facing two counts that each carry a maximum sentence of six months in federal prison, thinks the case is a waste of taxpayer money and plans to fight the charges.

Yeah, stick it to her. After all, that counter was really sticky and whatnot. Thank God there are some Asshole Fuckfaces, like US Attorney Tom Moss, to take care of horrible criminals, like Walters. We are safe because of men like him.

And finally, the amazing Asshole Fuckfacery of John McCain.

John McCain is a tremendous Asshole Fuckface and he proves it nearly everyday of this election campaign. After the government bailouts of so many private companies, the Old Man and his team realized they needed to tie Obama to the crisis. Oh, and there was another black guy out there.

Whoa! Holy shit! That other black guy is bad! And did you see that poor white lady at the end She would have a great life if it wasn抰 for those two black guys! And please don抰 pay attention to the fact that the new bad black guy isn抰 and never has been an Obama adviser.

The Obama campaign has sent out this statement from Franklin Raines: “I am not an advisor to Barack Obama, nor have I provided his campaign with advice on housing or economic matters.”

And that is something the McCain camp knew days BEFORE making this ad.

Obama’s campaign says Raines is not an Obama adviser and that McCain’s campaign knows it because Raines said so in an e-mail earlier this week to Carly Fiorina, a top McCain adviser. Obama’s campaign provided The Associated Press with a copy of the e-mail.

“Carly: Is this true” Raines asks above a forwarded note informing him that Fiorina was on television saying he was an Obama housing adviser. “I am not an adviser to the Obama campaign. Frank.”

Obama’s campaign says Fiorina did not respond.

McCain spokesman Brian Rogers said he was not aware of the e-mail to Fiorina, but noted that the Post reported on three occasions, between July 16 and Aug. 28, that Raines was advising Obama.

Really Too bad the Washington Post doesn抰 agree.

Now The Washington Post’s very own fact-checker has declared that the McCain campaign is “exaggerating wildly,” dismissing the Raines claim as “particularly dubious.”

That抯 newspaper talk for 搇iar.So, what McCain has done is create an ad linking a guy to Obama who has little to do with Obama and is black. Oh, and they threw in a poor, white lady at the end. The ad has obvious racial undertones and if you don抰 think so, then you are a fucking moron.

Obama does have close much closer and more damaging ties to a former Fannie Mae CEO, but that guy was white, so they went with the Raines ad first. After the Post called McCain a liar, he rolled one out with the white guy. What a complete and total Asshole Fuckface.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.