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Actor Sylvester Stallone was nabbed in Australia yesterday with tons of steroids on his person and in his hotel room. TMZ reports:

Stallone was officially charged with illegally importing performance and image enhancing drugs in a Sydney courtroom. The 60-year-old action star was caught at Sydney Airport with several vials of a steroid known as hGH (human growth hormone) during a random baggage check. Customs officials claim they found a total of 48 vials of the steroid after they raided Stallone’s Sydney hotel room, limousine and private jet. Stallone will be required to enter a plea on April 24. If found guilty, he faces a maximum fine of $22,000 American.

Why did he leave it all packaged in little vials? Nothing’s more conspicuous than a bunch of fucking vials. It’s the steroid equivalent of burlap bags marked with dollar signs. What he should have done is emptied a couple of bottles of water and poured the contents of all the vials in there. That’s how my uncle Frankie used to do it when he flew home from Singapore. There was that one time that my aunt drank one of the special bottles before Frankie realized it, and she did grow a beard and lose the baby, but I think that was just a fluke. Besides, she already had a moustache, anyway. It’s not like the beard was exactly cramping her style.